They plan their children's life from birth to marriage to career and beyond. Once a parent gives consent to an adoption, it can be very difficult to go back. Thank you all for reading. My 9 year old son has alot of crazy emotions from all of this as well. A stillbirth is the loss of a baby after 20 weeks of pregnancy. Sam, thank you for your response on here!! Parenting has nothing to do with origin but everything to do with relationship. If you decide you want the child back after it has been adopted, then you are putting other people through a terribly emotional situation for completely selfish reasons. I can not imagine nurturing a child in my womb for 9 whole months, give birth and give it away. Particularly during the rough teenage years, it’s so helpful for him to have an additional loving mom to turn to when he’s feeling out of sorts with me! Every situation is different. Elizabeth Jurenovich´s last blog post ..ORIENTATION. When we parted, he asked me if … Thank you again for your post, you summed it up beautifully from our experience. What Happens When Birth Parents Want Their Child Back? It’s sick, right? But God Himself is infinite, and His supply for His people is infinite. This makes me want to stop being a foster parent. But, he is not living in this generation where the biological moms being druggists and selfish abandon their children. Because the biological parents do NOT have custody, they can not enroll her in their school district. They have a really good relationship and she has remained a big part of his life. However, adoptive parents- you’re not always blameless either! Needy or Demanding Birthparents We went inside, ... to help adoptees find and connect with their birth parents for more than 20 years. my child while I was off ‘finding myself’! Another thing hypocritical about this argument, is the “only family the child knows” line is bandied around without mentioning that the adoptive parents sometimes keep the child from knowing the bio-parents until the final court ordered transfer. In all states (except Massachusetts and Utah), a birth parent may revoke his or her consent to adoption in very limited circumstances. Monday, February 27, 2011 at 7 pm, Kylie will be turned over to her birth father and his attorney at the McDonald’s in Laplace, Louisiana. I have tried to convince her to be kind to her adopted family, reassured her they love her, they have always been there for her, taken care of her, etc.. she will not listen. They are long-time members of their Kenner church. If you give a child up, you should have to go thru the same process as someone wanting to adopt! He just knows his family gave him away. It is idiotic and stupid to sit over and follow king solomons decision in this century. However, the reimbursement or compensation amount to the adoption parents “ought to come out from the adoption agencies or the state instead of coming out from the biological parents” since “it was the adoption agencies or the state put the adoption parents through immense loops and hoops and emotional and financial battles prior to bringing home their adopted child! Elizabeth, I appreciate your comment, “In a truly open adoption, the birthparents and adoptive parents share a mutual commitment to the child that prevents either from wanting to cost the child access to the other AND which eliminates any risk that a child’s first family should EVER be “strangers.”. While the woman whose son died is content to see the baby cut in two, the woman whose son is alive has compassion for her son and cries out, “Please, my lord, give her the living baby! When it happens, the loss comes as a terrible blow for parents. Thanks for posting it. We were on cloud nine. A month before the adoption was supposed to be finalized, the boy’s biological father filed a motion demanding custody. If a mother has doubts on raising a child and gives it up for adoption, she has already lost credibility as a good mother. If they had returned the child at the time of the request, then the child wouldn’t even remember that she/he had ever had adoptive parents, so it is really the adoptive parents being selfish there. She purspired and our love for her wasbeyond endless. She’s telling everyone her sob story and I’m going, “You wouldn’t be going through this if you used birth control!”. Far too few people are thinking about these children and what is best for them. We didn’t see Layla for a solid year. Adoptive parents tend to live in denial. She has found a beautiful family willing to have an open adoption. However, the court proceedings that finalize an adoption usually don’t occur for months after the child is taken home by the adoptive parents. It is not right for them to demand the child come back. Sounded good at the time until he would cry for me when picking up his brother from their grandparents house. Shockingly, parents abuse their own kids. The little girl is happy, healthy and loved dearly. How is that okay? >> Before your child's birth, any adoption agreements you make aren't binding, and the new parents are often required to wait between one day and a month until they're able to sign adoption papers (time varies according to state). So much of what happens to a child stays with them for the rest of their lives, be it good or bad. She was finally, officially, ours. The true problem that overshadows adoption is “Coveting.” Coveting is an inordinate desire to have something that someone else has, whether it is a car, house, employee, wife, husband, or child. And an unknown number of those children are being put up for adoption against the wishes of their parents, who, once deported, are often helpless to fight when a U.S. judge decides that their children are better off here. Immigration. I remember when I was about 16 years old, a very young couple had stopped at my parents house to see if they would babysit their 2 month old daughter, Layla. Reading about these stories is just so upsetting. Don’t have children you can’t care for. They too have rights but tend to face more opposition from the adoptive parents and the lawyers normally suggest that the APs drag the case on as long as possible so they can claim the “but they have been with us too long” argument. The contradictions in defense of the adoptive parents kill me! Who wants to sign up for that! If you have abandoned your child, your rights to that child, your visits with the child should be DONE! And as a society we allow a limited time for that decision to be changed. I am closer to one than the other but that’s only natural I suppose. Sounds mean, but it was in our favor to have a scenario like that and it gave us peace. The first case involved a Florida boy, now 3 ½, whose birth mother placed him for adoption in May 2001, when he was two days old. Though they are rare, and most adoptions go through seamlessly, revocations by birth parents happen. My daughter never would have given her baby up for adoption knowing this would happen. Previous post: A Child’s View of Adoption. My story: 19 years old had my first son , married 3 months before that , bought a house , and imagined my life as happily ever after. We tried a go at the relationship after a break , realized he was the same left him again and 2 weeks later found out I was pregnant. I’m so grateful for the parents who truly did consider the best interests of their child and decided to implement what is essentially an open adoption. Please keep us posted; I know you’ll all be in the prayers of many (mine included.) And Shame on those of you who criticize loving adoptive parents who are willing to love and cherish someone elses’ child! Open adoption is about giving children the best that all their parents can offer, working together to achieve this goal, and I salute you for doing just that, through your continued presence in and your commitment where your daughter and her family are concerned. It doesn’t matter whether the birth mother decides she needs to parent her child because she hates the birth father and can’t stand the thought of him regaining custody. During the two-hour car ride back, my biological father talked mostly about his motorcycle, his boat and working out. Adoptive parents, especially when they adopt in the US, go through hell trying to get a child and when their child comes to them those parents deserve for that child to be legally exactly the same as a child they would have if they were able to have children on their own. Just like you say the birth parents made their bed and should have to lay in it; I’m sorry, but so should the adoptive parents. My daughter has decided to give up her baby for adoption. He asks for a sword and orders that the baby be cut in two. Criticizing people for falling in love with their foster child is the epitome of ignorance. It is usually very rare for a bmother to try to get their baby back after the revocation period unless there is proof they have been severely coerced (eg signing forms while drugged in hospital). And obviously–I know some of the situations children return to are fine (although sometimes I also question the definition of the word ‘fine’ when it comes to a child’s well-being). Oh my! No matter how you spell it. They have the full rights. This is children we are talking about. To the birthparents: Yes this must be very hard on you. I just had the most frustrating conversation with a friend. Under odd circumstances we got a newborn whom is in pre-school now and a sibling that is starting pre-school. I’m sure there were times she had thought about me, or worried of my welfare. The judge and the guardian ad litem both stated their intent to terminate her rights due to her being unemployed and not having a house that she could stay in for loger than 6 months. You made a choice- now shut up and deal with it. I think you just all need to be there for her when i was 16 i didn’t know what i wanted. There are no hard rules about ages for birth family meetings. God is not diminished if one person “takes” a great share of Him. Well, “I Purdy” if that is your user name, I totally agree with you. I didn’t sign over the rights to my son to his uncle because I was a bad parent. 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